It only takes one bite...

What do you get when you mix a sexy mama, a saucy chica, a cute waitress, a bottle of wine and the most sinful tiramisù?  You get the irresistible urge to start a blog.

That's what happened the other night when Dana and Lily were at Barcibo on Broadway and 69th.  The better part of their evening was spent waxing pornographic about their Tiramisù in the Raw, a dessert that defies the boundaries of where sex can take place and how.  This devolved into further rapturous discourse on other effing-sexy dishes they'd tried.  The waitress just couldn't keep away.

And so The Lovin' Mouthful began.  Here's where we - that is, everyone - can rhapsodize about food that is sex in your mouth.  We've all had at least one dish like that (though some of us lucky enough to live in NYC have it more often than we really deserve).  Just one bite sends a shiver from the spoon straight down the spine to the sweet spot and you start to wonder if getting your face into the bowl would really be that much of inappropriate thing to do after all.  It could be anything, really - a palate-spanking of whatever kind.  A smoky single malt or a bite of the finest steak; ice-cream or ice wine; pasta or pistou; tiramisù or tira-me-into-the-nearest-dark-corner-and-scrù.  If you've ever had a mouthful of something like pure love or a mouthful of something like sweet sweet lovin', then this is where you can find the sweet nothings that gastronomy whispers.

We're starting off with these three categories:

1. Sex on my plate.  Any food or drink that comes to you in a form so lovely that you can't decide whether to tear its clothes off and ravish it or to just look adoringly at it.

2. Sex in my mouth.  Any food or drink that you can put in your mouth that turns you on, feels like great sex, is better than sex, or gives you a foodgasm.  If it gives you a real orgasm we would, of course, like to hear about it and then get directions to the restaurant.

3. Sex on the table.  Any food or drink that goes above and beyond the call of good food and inspires you to have sex right there on the table.

A few ground rules - no real porn, no links to real porn, no photos that don't belong to you.  Give credit where credit is due - link to what you need to, attribute photos to their owners and tell us where the restaurants/bars are.  We're talking about food that's like sex, not actual sex.  As long as it is a food, food-stuff, beverage or place to purchase said things, it's fine to discuss.  This is a forum to describe bone-in cuts of meat, or boning a fish, and not the other kind of boning you might be doing.  That said, metaphor and euphemism are quite elastic concepts, so no one here's going to be shy.  Don't like it?  Don't read it.

And remember: you can't fake it with food.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the bodice-ripper of broilers, the dirty mag of dirty martinis, the sexting of ceviche, the porn of the porterhouse, the odes of hors d'oeuvres, a little black book for all of your foodie-calls, the back-page listings for all of your gastro-kink.

Have at it.